Final Goodbye

Sunday, July 2, 2017

In Loving memories 

Sitting at the computer staring at the screen tears falling from my eyes, its like I'm feeling that pain all over again I can still hear mums voice from that day "don't cry" she says "he's gone". It felt like everything in that moment stopped.

I remember just sitting there numb for a good half an hour staring at the television screen, I became frozen thinking about what I had just heard. 

How do I carry on with life knowing your gone, alone with my thoughts in the chapel,
I wondered how this could be true like was I dreaming can I just wake up now, it was as if God heard me that call came through to say you were still there your heart was beating again a moment of hope and sadness at the same time, and then came that moment I was told that you were indeed gone.

I couldn't bring myself to tell anyone the words couldn't come out my mouth saying it would mean accepting it, theres no way your gone, we never got the chance to rewrite your story, to fix all the wrongs. 

My heart is broken into pieces I've never felt a pain like this, One thing I know is that mum made us strong but this feels too heavy to carry. 

You fought right till the very end, you were always a fighter no matter what life threw at you.

There's so much I didn't get to say we didn't have enough time I cant forget the things you taught me, my memories of us growing up as kids. 

I wasn't ready for this goodbye as much as all I want to do is cry all the time I cant I have to be strong for mum like you always use to tell me that's the only mum we have take care of her, now is the time to restore order.

 I still need you to do this, I still need you to guide me.

I take comfort knowing your in a better place now, our guardian angel, may your soul rest in perfect peace my sweet brother 

[30/08/1982 - 14/06/2017]

Goodbye my Love, goodbye my sweet brother.

1 comment

  1. I'm so sorry for your loss babe. Who passed away?


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